The AA 12&12 explores the opportunities for love on a broader spectrum. Each step and tradition is shared in an essay. An essay based on Bill W's experience in program, group and life. His thoughts and interpretation. His growth reflection. Love is everywhere if I allow it to be present. "But its object is always the same: to improve our conscious contact with God, with His grace, wisdom and love." (Pg. 101 – Step 11) When I love, I am complete in God's grace. Grace the gift. Again, to me God just is. The everlasting energy present. No gender. No religion or doctrine attached. I am exploring Tao, the always presence within me. Freedom. My object is to love, to bring love and to let go of my need to receive love. I receive by giving what has been freely given to me.

Gratitude. A bit more challenging to cross reference it in AA literature. Gratitude itself is mentioned once in the AA 12&12 in step 10. "An honest regret for harms done, a genuine gratitude for blessings received, and a willingness to try for better things tomorrow will be the permanent assets we shall seek." A genuine gratitude for blessings received....Everything is a blessing. Every lesson I learn. Every loss. The blessing to feel my feelings without going into my compulsion, my addiction aka my negative coping mechanism (more to follow on that). Gratitude produces a different mindset. A positive mindset. An example. I travel quite a bit. My plan was to attend the Overeaters Anonymous World Service Convention in Boston in 2016. As it is about a 9 hour drive from my home to Boston, I considered driving, but did not want to drive alone, as part of the drive is in quite isolated country. I reached out to fellows, but everyone who planned to attend that I spoke to, decided to fly. As soon as I made a decision to be grateful to have the time and means to fly, all my resources opened up. My departing flight from my home town to Montreal/Canada was delayed. I ran and rushed to the next gate (which included passport and luggage check) as I had less than one hour for my connection to a US flight, only to find out that my flight from Montreal to Boston was delayed by about one hour. A wonderful opportunity for me to have a meal. The restaurant staff commented on my positive attitude despite the delayed flight. I was grateful to have the extra time for a meal and the delay caused me to miss rush hour in Boston. A double winner. A blessing received. I could have focused on the negative, yet I chose to be grateful.

I want to go back to the resented family member. How can I find gratitude? I can be grateful that I have a choice not to behave like this individual. I chose kindness, I chose humour, I chose love. I am grateful that I am positive and let go of the negative.

Love and gratitude are closely connected for myself. They complete each other. My life will never be perfect and honestly I have not met anyone with a perfect life. I had the privilege of listening to Step 5 often. Usually there is at least one individual that my protege sees as perfect and resents that. When I ask what is or makes it perfect the answer is "I don't know". I am not perfect. I don't strive to be perfect. But I learn to be complete. Complete in my program by living in steps 10, 11 and 12, complete in my life for today, with the opportunity to complete another day tomorrow when I rest my head on my pillow for the night. Complete for now.

Feel free to comment or reach out to me at millieoapp@outlook.com.

Millie