Love and Gratitude, Part 1
As I ended my last blog with thoughts of love and gratitude, here is my exploration on both.
Love is defined in the dictionary as "strong affection for another rising out of kinship and personal ties". Interestingly enough, the word "LOVE" is used in the Big Book 23 times and 35 times in the AA Book 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. To me, that means that the Big Book introduces me to love, the love for the program, for my fellows, for my family. As a practicing addict, my love was for my compulsion of food, and myself. And it was conditional: "If one loves me they would/would not .....". The Big Book opens the door to a new love: The love of fellows, the love of my home group, the love to give back, the love of service, the love of a healthy body and the love to be free to love unconditionally. Love allows me to be vulnerable, asks me to let go of control, look at someone I dislike/resent with the love and compassion of caring for a sick person: Pg. 66 "This was our course: We realized that the people who wrong us were perhaps spiritually sick". Wow. All of a sudden, I can look at a family member, who I despise, with compassion and nonjudgmental about their spiritual condition. Yet, MY HEART is set free.
Very powerful transition with one sentence. A prayer? Yes. I struggled with prayer for most of my early recovery – until I was able to separate the ritual of prayer from the covenant of prayer. The ritual sets me free – changing my mindset from the problem (I dislike this individual) to the solution (This person like me is spiritually sick). There are some newly adapted versions of the sick man's prayer available. Oh wow. They are sick like me. How would I like to be treated being sick? With love, compassion, understanding and patience? Bingo. Yes. My opportunity to love, be compassionate, understanding and patient. It does not mean this individual needs to turn immediately into my favourite family member – what it means is that I am set free from the resentment to be open to choice. When I am in resentment, I have no choice. I dislike and justify.
The journey continues in Part 2, where Millie explores the power of gratitude and how it intertwines with love to create a life of completeness.